A hundred years ago, Griff and I appeared in a fire evacuation health and safety video for work. My turn in front of the camera, the director asked me to do an unscripted piece about fire. "Just say anything that comes into your head," he said. Nervously, I began.

"Fire," I said, "is like an animal, it devours everything in its path..." I then proceeded to give what I hoped was a knowledgeable, informative and eloquent speech about fire and its destructive nature.

At the end of filming, Griff came up to me and said, "'Fire is like an animal'? What was that all about? They won't use that bollocks."

He was right, they didn't.